A lot of people ask me,
stupid fuckin' questions,
A lot of people think that,
what I say on a record or what I talk about on a record,
That I actually do in real life,
Or that I believe in it,
Or if say that I wanne kill somebody then I'm acctualy gonne do it'
Or that I believe in it,
Bull shit,
If you believe that,
then I'll kill you,
You know why?
Chuz I'm a CRIMINAL! CRIMINAL!
You're goddam right,
I'm a CRIMINAL! yea I'm a CRIMINAL!
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge,
And I'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or lez,
But a homo sex a maph or trans or lez pants or dress,
hate fags the answer's yes
Homophobic? Nah your just hederopphobic
staring at my jeans watchin my genitals bulgin,
That's my motherfuckin' balls you better let go of em',
They belong in my scrodem, you'll never get hold of em',
Hey it's my versache, look somebody shot me,
And I was just chekin' the mail,
get it?
Chekin' the male, tsjik tsjik
How many records you expecting to sell,
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
Come on relax guy, I like gay men right ken?
Give me an amen, "amen!"
Please lord, this boy needs jesus,
He's our only child help us destroy these
demons oh and please send me a
brand new car and a prostitute
while my wife's sick in the hospital,
Preacher, preacher, fifth grade teacher,
you can't reach me my mom can't neither,
you can't teach me a goddamn thing,
cuz I watch TV and com cast cable,
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts,
you can't stop me from toppin' these charts,
and you can't stop me from droppin each March,
with a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards,
and to think it';s just little old me,
Mr. don't give a fuck still won't leave,
I'm a CRIMINAL!
Cuz every time that I write a rhyme,
these people think that it's a crime to,
tell em' what's on my mind.
I guess I'm a CRIMINAL!
I don't gotta say a word,
I just flip em' the bird and,
keep goin' I don't take a shit from no one,
I'm a CRIMINAL!
Cuz every time that I write a rhyme,
these people think that it's a crime to
tell em' what's on my mind.
I guess I'm a CRIMNAL!
I don't gotta say a word,
I just flip em' the bird and keep goin',
I don't take a shit from no one.
My mother did drugs, hard liquor,
cigarettes, and speed.
The baby came out disfugered,
ligaments and knee it's a seed,
that would grow up just as crazy as she,
Don't dare make fun of that baby,
cuz that baby was me,
I'm a CRIMINAL!
an animal caged to turn crazed,
but how the fuck you supposed,
to grow up when you weren't raised,
So as I got older, and I go a lot taller,
my dick shrunk smaller and my balls got larger,
I drank more liquor to fuvk you up quicker,
then you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word,
my motors went (fart),
when the president got home,
sex in his oval office on top of his desk,
he was all his own employee,
don't ignore me you won't avoid me,
you can't miss me you won't avoid me,
you can't miss me I'm white blonde hair,
and my nose is pointy I'm the bad guy,
who makes fun of people that die,
in plane crashes and laugh as long,
as it aint happenen to him,
Slim Shady I'm as crazy as him,
and Kim combined, (the maniac's in),
The place is the doc because,
Dre couldn't make it today,
He's a little under the weather,
so I' m takin' his place,
oh that's Dre with an Ak to his face,
Don't make me kill him too,
and spray his brains all over the place,
I told you DRE,
you should have kept that thing put away,
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it hey, (haha, BANG!)
CRIMINAL!
(car pulls up) (music blends into the background)
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